Tuesday, March 9, 2010

On the nature of love

Our hands touch, and the distance between us closes. We shut our eyes, shutting out the world, just for this moment, just to feel this single, solitary feeling. Our lips meet, each of us wrapping our arms around each other. We can feel two heartbeats. They do not beat as one. We are not one. You do not complete me, nor I you, for this implies that each of us, on our own, is somehow incomplete. But we complement each other, you and I. In this moment, all my guard falls away, all the walls I keep around myself, and I just...feel. There is a connection between us that I can feel, like a single candle flame in the endless caverns of the mind, of the soul. We are not one, but the light in each of us is made stronger by the light in each other. The kiss ends, and the embrace, but the feeling does not.

"Remember to pick up sweetener at the store, and to order that thing for my phone," you say.

"I will."

I have lunch with a friend, take your paycheck to the bank, have coffee with another friend, see a few people I know at the cafe, take a leisurely drive through town on the way to the grocery store, observing this house and that, wondering at the sort of house we'll buy when we move to Massachusetts in a few years. It occurs to me that the rigors of daily life go on. The house must still be cleaned, the laundry done, the dishes washed, the food cooked, the jobs worked. Love doesn't make me enjoy any of these things more, and there aren't birds singing all the time--though you are--but it's moments like that kiss that keep the day going.

Love doesn't mean spending every waking moment together, it doesn't mean we always get along perfectly, it doesn't mean sex every day or sharing a plate of spaghetti like in Lady and the Tramp. What it does mean is knowing that at the end of the day, or week, or month, or year, we will have moments like that. It means knowing that when it matters the most, and sometimes even when it matters least, I can let my guard down and just feel that connection; feel the light in each of us combining to make something beautiful.

I love you.